'Keir Starmer lackey who unleashed Savile slur on Farage has question to answer'

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Winona Ryder says she was so besotted by actor Christopher Walken that, when he gave her a supermarket rotisserie chicken, she kept the carcass long after its sell by date. And she says: "I still have the wishbone which I'm trying to make into a necklace."

Before she does that, she needs to book a nice long session with her therapist.

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On his visit to the UK this week, Donald Trump said: "London has one of the worst mayors of anywhere in the world - a horrible mayor and a nasty guy. A stupid guy in my opinion. He's done a lousy job."

Yes, he has. Under Sadiq Khan knife crime has rocketed by 60% in the last three years and 81,000 phones have been stolen. The Donald makes more sense with every day that passes.

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Keir Starmer says he's working on a pathway to peace. Does he mean in Gaza or Epping?

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Joey Barton's legal bill for calling the lovely Jeremy Vine a "big bike nonce" on Twitter has so far cost him £516,000. Jeremy initially said he'd have accepted £10,000 and an apology but Barton was too thick, too proud, too up himself to admit that calling a devoted husband and father "a nonce" is wrong.

We can only hope the bill breaks him and teaches him to shut his filthy mouth. But I'm not holding my breath!

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Trans darts player Noa-Lynn van Leuven has been banned from women's tournaments by the World Darts Federation.

Good! Let's see how many tournaments he wins playing in the men's category. Van Leuven has taken enough prize money from women players over the years. Time to pit his skills against his biological equals and see how he fares.

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Can it really be true that the Queen Mother's heavy drinking during her pregnancy with Margaret caused her unborn baby to suffer from foetal alcohol syndrome which causes difficulties with impulse control, managing emotions and learning?

A new biography by Pulitzer Prize-nominated Meryle Secrest says Margaret suffered from an invisible disability having been exposed to alcohol in the womb.

Okay, so it's well documented the Queen Mum had a fondness for gin and Dubonnet and loved a Martini. It's just as well known that she and her family had hollow legs where alcohol was concerned.

But if she was drinking throughout all her pregnancies - and she probably would have been as the problems of drinking weren't understood, back then - how did our fabulous Queen Elizabeth escape unscathed? She was a master at managing her emotions, had no probs with impulse control and was as sharp as a tack?

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Zara Sultana, who was chucked out of the Labour party for voting to scrap the two-child benefit cap and who stupidly said in the Commons: "We are all Palestine Action" when we clearly aren't, says the new party she's forming with that other deadbeat, Jeremy Corbyn, should be called The Left Party.

No luv it should be called The Loonie Left Party for Labour's Outcasts. Because that's what they are - a bunch of hard-Left Commie losers who no-one with half a brain would vote for.

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Netflix has made a new series of Pride and Prejudice where some of the characters are being played by mixed race actors. Netflix says it's all about increasing ethnic representation. Others would say it's a tortured distortion of the reality of Jane Austin's novel.

Would the ethnic representation argument hold up in a movie about African slaves where white men took up some of the slave roles? No, because it wouldn't be right or believable.

An observation. Yes, some of the children in Gaza look starved but why do all the adults look perfectly normal?